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Daily Meditations of the Henri Nouwen
Society
Claiming the Sacredness of Our Being
Are we friends with ourselves? Do we love who we are? These are important questions because
we cannot develop good friendships with others unless we have befriended ourselves.
How then do we befriend ourselves? We have to start by acknowledging the truth of ourselves.
We are beautiful but also limited, rich but also poor, generous but also worried about our
security. Yet beyond all that we are people with souls, sparks of the divine. To acknowledge the
truth of ourselves is to claim the sacredness of our being, without fully understanding it. Our
deepest being escapes our own mental or emotional grasp. But when we trust that our souls are
embraced by a loving God, we can befriend ourselves and reach out to others in loving
relationships.
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The Ways to Self-knowledge
"Know yourself" is good advice. But to know ourselves doesn't mean to analyse ourselves.
Sometimes we want to know ourselves as if we were machines that could be taken apart and put
back together at will. At certain critical times in our lives it might be helpful to explore in some
detail the events that led us to our crises, but we make a mistake when we think that we can ever
completely understand ourselves and explain the full meaning of our lives to others.
Solitude, silence, and prayer are often the best ways to self-knowledge. Not because they offer
solutions for the complexity of our lives but because they bring us in touch with our sacred
center, where God dwells. That sacred center may not be analysed. It is the place of adoration,
thanksgiving, and praise.
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Becoming Friends of Our Children
Can fathers and mothers become friends of their children? Many children leave their parents to
find freedom and independence and return to them only occasionally. When they return they
often feel like children again and therefore do not want to stay long. Many parents worry about
children's well-being after they have left home. When their children visit they want to be caring
parents again.
But a mother can also become the daughter of her daughter and a father the son of his son. A
mother can become the daughter of her son and a father the son of his daughter. Father and
mother become brother and sister of their own children, and they all can become friends. It
doesn't happen often, but when it does happen it is as beautiful to watch as the dawn of a new
day.
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Living Faithfully in an Ambiguous World
Our hearts and minds desire clarity. We like to have a clear picture of a situation, a clear view of
how things fit together, and clear insight into our own and the world's problems. But just as in
nature colors and shapes mingle without clear-cut distinctions, human life doesn't offer the clarity
we are looking for. The borders between love and hate, evil and good, beauty and ugliness,
heroism and cowardice, care and neglect, guilt and blamelessness are mostly vague, ambiguous,
and hard to discern.
It is not easy to live faithfully in a world full of ambiguities. We have to learn to make wise
choices without needing to be entirely sure.
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On the Journey Toward Faithfulness
written by SUSAN M. S. BROWN
I've just taken part in a service to mark Candlemas (February 2) and its surrounding feasts,
including the Feast of St. Blaise (February 3). And I'm savoring my discovery of this Armenian
bishop of the late third and early fourth centuries. He is said to have miraculously cured a boy
choking on a fishbone, thus becoming a "healer of all ailments of the throat." Even after I learned
of St. Blaise through a brief entry in a book of saints, he was a distant and rather dusty figure,
origin of a (to me) quaint-seeming ritual of blessing throats with crossed, lighted candles. But
then I stumbled on an article by the massage therapist Gloria Ray Carpeneto that put this ritual in
a broader context-not just preventing organic illness but helping us find our voices.
I grew up in the Methodist Church in the 1960s and '70s. We had no saints, few candles (except
on Christmas Eve), and not many rituals, certainly none as exotic as crossing burning tapers over
people's throats. But finding my voice-that's a longing I know well. And now, after 1,700 years,
through fallible human beings and institutions, and despite the shadowy line between history and
legend, the miracle of St. Blaise has come alive with new meaning for me and others.
Sometimes God touches us directly, but God's blessings are also preserved, passed on, and
renewed by generations of the faithful. I give thanks for them and for the endlessly available
opportunity to discover the significance of their gifts for our own lives.
The article by Gloria Ray Carpeneto is "Rethinking a Blessing: A Fresh Look at an Old
Tradition," Praying, Jan.-Feb. 1997.
SUSAN M. S. BROWN is an Episcopalian laywoman and a freelance editor who lives near
Boston, Massachusetts.
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Where Mourning and Dancing Touch Each Other
"[There is] a time for mourning, a time for dancing" (Ecclesiastes 3:4). But mourning and
dancing are never fully separated. Their "times" do not necessarily follow each other. In fact,
their "times" may become one "time." Mourning may turn into dancing and dancing into
mourning without showing a clear point where one ends and the other starts.
Often our grief allows us to choreograph our dance while our dance creates the space for our
grief. We lose a beloved friend, and in the midst of our tears we discover an unknown joy. We
celebrate a success, and in the midst of the party we feel deep sadness. Mourning and dancing,
grief and laughter, sadness and gladness - they belong together as the sad-faced clown and the
happy-faced clown, who make us both cry and laugh. Let's trust that the beauty of our lives
becomes visible where mourning and dancing touch each other.
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The Autumn of Life
The autumn leaves can dazzle us with their magnificent colors: deep red, purple, yellow, gold,
bronze, in countless variations and combinations. Then, shortly after having shown their
unspeakable beauty, they fall to the ground and die. The barren trees remind us that winter is
near. Likewise, the autumn of life has the potential to be very colorful: wisdom, humor, care,
patience, and joy may bloom splendidly just before we fall to the ground and die.
As we look at the barren trees and remember our dead, let us be grateful for the beauty we saw in
them and wait hopefully for a new spring.
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Traveling With the Eyes of God
Traveling - seeing new sights, hearing new music, and meeting new people - is exciting and
exhilarating. But when we have no home to return to where someone will ask us, "How was your
trip?" we might be less eager to go. Travelling is joyful when we travel with the eyes and ears of
those who love us, who want to see our slides and hear our stories.
This is what life is about. It is being sent on a trip by a loving God, who is waiting at home for
our return and is eager to watch the slides we took and hear about the friends we made. When we
travel with the eyes and ears of the God who sent us, we will see wonderful sights, hear
wonderful sounds, meet wonderful people ... and be happy to return home.
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The Beauty of Shyness
There is something beautiful about shyness, even though in our culture shyness is not considered
a virtue. On the contrary, we are encouraged to be direct, look people straight in the eyes, tell
them what is on our minds, and share our stories without a blush.
But this unflinching soul-baring, confessional attitude quickly becomes boring. It is like trees
without shadows. Shy people have long shadows, where they keep much of their beauty hidden
from intruders' eyes. Shy people remind us of the mystery of life that cannot be simply explained
or expressed. They invite us to reverent and respectful friendships and to a wordless being
together in love.
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Deeply Rooted in God
Trees that grow tall have deep roots. Great height without great depth is dangerous. The great
leaders of this world - like St. Francis, Gandhi, and Martin Luther King, Jr., - were all people
who could live with public notoriety, influence, and power in a humble way because of their deep
spiritual rootedness.
Without deep roots we easily let others determine who we are. But as we cling to our popularity,
we may lose our true sense of self. Our clinging to the opinion of others reveals how superficial
we are. We have little to stand on. We have to be kept alive by adulation and praise. Those who
are deeply rooted in the love of God can enjoy human praise without being attached to it.
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From Blaming to Forgiving
Our most painful suffering often comes from those who love us and those we love. The
relationships between husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters, teachers and
students, pastors and parishioners - these are where our deepest wounds occur. Even late in life,
yes, even after those who wounded us have long since died, we might still need help to sort out
what happened in these relationships.
The great temptation is to keep blaming those who were closest to us for our present, condition
saying: "You made me who I am now, and I hate who I am." The great challenge is to
acknowledge our hurts and claim our true selves as being more than the result of what other
people do to us. Only when we can claim our God-made selves as the true source of our being
will we be free to forgive those who have wounded us.
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Being Handed Over to Suffering
People who live close together can be sources of great sorrow for one another. When Jesus chose
his twelve apostles, Judas was one of them. Judas is called a traitor. A traitor, according to the
literal meaning of the Greek word for "betraying," is someone who hands the other over to suffering.
The truth is that we all have something of the traitor in us because each of us hands our fellow
human beings over to suffering somehow, somewhere, mostly without intending or even
knowing it. Many children, even grown-up children, can experience deep anger toward their
parents for having protected them too much or too little. When we are willing to confess that we
often hand those we love over to suffering, even against our best intentions, we will be more
ready to forgive those who, mostly against their will, are the causes of our pain.
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Authority and Obedience
Authority and obedience can never be divided, with some people having all the authority while
others only have to obey. This separation causes authoritarian behaviour on the one side and
doormat behaviour on the other. It perverts authority as well as obedience. A person with great
authority who has nobody to be obedient to is in great spiritual danger. A very obedient person
who has no authority over anyone is equally in danger.
Jesus spoke with great authority, but his whole life was complete obedience to his Father, and
Jesus, who said to his Father, "Let it be as you, not I, would have it" (Matthew 26:39), has been
given all authority in heaven and on earth (see Matthew 28:18). Let us ask ourselves: Do we live
our authority in obedience and do we live our obedience with authority?
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On the Journey Toward Faithfulness
written by FR. LARRY GILLICK, S.J.
When I was a child, my family's drive to the distant lake where we vacationed seemed longer
than life. But our parents kept affirming the promise of a vacational reality. The journey of
"fidelity" begins with accepting the promises made to us. Our promises in baptism, marriage,
religious life, the reception of the Eucharist are pledges to continue our watching for the ways
that promises are being kept by the Faithful Promise-Maker.
Just as my parents would point out geographical features which proved that they were heading
for our lake, God offers us spiritological markers which encourage us to keep on keeping on. Our
fidelity depends on our being aware of God's fidelity to us.
The keyword in the title of this reflection is more. If we really want to do something from our
hearts and souls, we will want to do more than we can. We will never be just faithful enough. As
we move along our journeys, we do well to look in our rearview mirrors and be encouraged by
the signs of our past faithful responses to God's promises.
My family always did arrive at the lake; our parents had kept their promises. And we kept
trusting them, though the geographical signs helped. We stayed faithful, albeit at times grumpy
and scrapping. Like children journeying impatiently in the backseat of the car, we, growing more
in the spirit of fidelity, will have times of arguing, demanding, whimpering. And unlike children
on summer vacation, we will never arrive at the lake of Perfection. Fidelity is the prerogative of
God, and ours is the journey toward God.
FR. LARRY GILLICK, S.J. was ordained in his hometown of Milwaukee, Wisconsin after
completing his theological studies at the Toronto School of Theology and Regis College,
Willowdale. Canada. It was there he became familiar with the L'Arche-Daybreak Community of
Toronto. He is presently the director of the Center for Ignatian Spirituality at Creighton
University in Omaha, Nebraska.
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Authority and Obedience
Authority and obedience can never be divided, with some people
having all the authority while others only have to obey. This separation causes
authoritarian behaviour on the one side and doormat behaviour on the other. It
perverts authority as well as obedience. A person with great authority who has
nobody to be obedient to is in great spiritual danger. A very obedient person
who has no authority over anyone is equally in danger.
Jesus spoke with great authority, but his whole life was complete obedience to
his Father, and Jesus, who said to his Father, "Let it be as you, not I,
would have it" (Matthew 26:39), has been given all authority in heaven and
on earth (see Matthew 28:18). Let us ask ourselves: Do we live our authority in
obedience and do we live our obedience with authority?
The Authority of Compassion
Mostly we think of people with great authority as higher up, far
away, hard to reach. But spiritual authority comes from compassion and emerges
from deep inner solidarity with those who are "subject" to authority.
The one who is fully like us, who deeply understands our joys and pains or
hopes and desires, and who is willing and able to walk with us, that is the one
to whom we gladly give authority and whose "subjects" we are willing
to be.
It is the compassionate authority that empowers, encourages, calls forth hidden
gifts, and enables great things to happen. True spiritual authorities are
located in the point of an upside-down triangle, supporting and holding into
the light everyone they offer their leadership to.
The Shepherd and the Sheep
Spiritual leadership is the leadership of the Good Shepherd. As
Jesus says, good shepherds know their sheep, and their sheep know them (see
John 10:14). There must be a true mutuality between shepherds and their sheep.
Good leaders know their own, and their own know them. Between them is mutual
trust, mutual openness, mutual care, and mutual love. To follow our leaders we
cannot be afraid of them, and to lead our followers we need their encouragement
and support.
Jesus calls himself the Good Shepherd to show the great intimacy that must
exist between leaders and those entrusted to them. Without such intimacy,
leadership easily becomes oppressive.
Laying Down Your Life for Your Friends
Good Shepherds are willing to lay down their lives for their
sheep (see John 10:11). As spiritual leaders walking in the footsteps of Jesus,
we are called to lay down our lives for our people. This laying down might in
special circumstances mean dying for others. But it means first of all making
our own lives - our sorrows and joys, our despair and hope, our loneliness and
experience of intimacy - available to others as sources of new life.
One of the greatest gifts we can give others is ourselves. We offer consolation
and comfort, especially in moments of crisis, when we say: "Do not be
afraid, I know what you are living and I am living it with you. You are not
alone." Thus we become Christ-like shepherds.
Reading Spiritually About Spiritual Things
Reading often means gathering information, acquiring new insight
and knowledge, and mastering a new field. It can lead us to degrees, diplomas,
and certificates. Spiritual reading, however, is different. It means not simply
reading about spiritual things but also reading about spiritual things in a
spiritual way. That requires a willingness not just to read but to be read, not
just to master but to be mastered by words. As long as we read the Bible or a
spiritual book simply to acquire knowledge, our reading does not help us in our
spiritual lives. We can become very knowledgeable about spiritual matters
without becoming truly spiritual people.
As we read spiritually about spiritual things, we open our hearts to God's
voice. Sometimes we must be willing to put down the book we are reading and
just listen to what God is saying to us through its words.
Growing Into Our True Freedom
True freedom is the freedom of the children of God. To reach
that freedom requires a lifelong discipline since so much in our world
militates against it. The political, economic, social, and even religious
powers surrounding us all want to keep us in bondage so that we will obey their
commands and be dependent on their rewards.
But the spiritual truth that leads to freedom is the truth that we belong not
to the world but to God, whose beloved children we are. By living lives in
which we keep returning to that truth in word and deed, we will gradually grow
into our true freedom.
On the Journey Toward Faithfulness
written by VICTORIA SCHMIDT
A desire to grow in faithfulness says, "I want to
live an authentic life." It is a life that bears witness by my actions,
which reflect what I profess to believe. That is the ideal; the reality is that
I often fall short of that desire. It is the human way. We cannot achieve
perfection in this life. However, the journey through the mystery of life calls
us to seek authenticity with zeal and trust in knowing that our God does not
want perfection but faithfulness.
As I grow older, I have come to turn over life's challenges to God more easily,
especially those experiences which I have no control over. Becoming more
faithful means trusting that everything is a teachable moment and everything is
God's will. When the daughter of a close friend received news that her unborn
child had a serious condition that would likely cause brain damage, I witnessed
them move from shock and deep sadness to a confident yet vulnerable place of
trust in God's will. In our human limitations, it is not possible for us to
understand this kind of mystery, but we can draw ourselves closer to it and be
the presence of the Holy One for each other.
On my journey toward becoming more faithful, I want to be more willing to draw nearer
to the mysteries of this life without fear, for that is where God resides most
vividly.
VICTORIA SCHMIDT lives in Springfield, Illinois (USA). She has a missionary
heart that has been formed by thirty years of missionary work around the world.
She currently serves as Director of Theresian World Ministry, an international
Catholic women's organization.
Freedom Attracts
When you are interiorly free you call others to freedom, whether
you know it or not. Freedom attracts wherever it appears. A free man or a free
woman creates a space where others feel safe and want to dwell. Our world is so
full of conditions, demands, requirements, and obligations that we often wonder
what is expected of us. But when we meet a truly free person, there are no
expectations, only an invitation to reach into ourselves and discover there our
own freedom.
Where true inner freedom is, there is God. And where God is, there we want to
be.
Healing Contradictions
The many contradictions in our lives - such as being home while
feeling homeless, being busy while feeling bored, being popular while feeling
lonely, being believers while feeling many doubts - can frustrate, irritate,
and even discourage us. They make us feel that we are never fully present.
Every door that opens for us makes us see how many more doors are closed.
But there is another response. These same contradictions can bring us into
touch with a deeper longing, for the fulfillment of a desire that lives beneath
all desires and that only God can satisfy. Contradictions, thus understood,
create the friction that can help us move toward God.
Ordering Our Desires
Desire is often talked about as something we ought to overcome.
Still, being is desiring: our bodies, our minds, our hearts, and our souls are
full of desires. Some are unruly, turbulent, and very distracting; some make us
think deep thoughts and see great visions; some teach us how to love; and some
keep us searching for God. Our desire for God is the desire that should guide
all other desires. Otherwise our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls become one
another's enemies and our inner lives become chaotic, leading us to despair and
self-destruction.
Spiritual disciplines are not ways to eradicate all our desires but ways to
order them so that they can serve one another and together serve God.
Fulfilling a Mission
When we live our lives as missions, we become aware that there
is a home from where we are sent and to where we have to return. We start
thinking about ourselves as people who are in a faraway country to bring a
message or work on a project, but only for a certain amount of time. When the
message has been delivered and the project is finished, we want to return home
to give an account of our mission and to rest from our labors.
One of the most important spiritual disciplines is to develop the knowledge
that the years of our lives are years "on a mission."
Writing to Save the Day
Writing can be a true spiritual discipline. Writing can help us
to concentrate, to get in touch with the deeper stirrings of our hearts, to
clarify our minds, to process confusing emotions, to reflect on our
experiences, to give artistic expression to what we are living, and to store
significant events in our memories. Writing can also be good for others who
might read what we write.
Quite often a difficult, painful, or frustrating day can be
"redeemed" by writing about it. By writing we can claim what we have
lived and thus integrate it more fully into our journeys. Then writing can
become lifesaving for us and sometimes for others too.
Making Our Lives Available to Others
One of the arguments we often use for not writing is this:
"I have nothing original to say. Whatever I might say, someone else has
already said it, and better than I will ever be able to." This, however,
is not a good argument for not writing. Each human person is unique and
original, and nobody has lived what we have lived. Furthermore, what we have
lived, we have lived not just for ourselves but for others as well. Writing can
be a very creative and invigorating way to make our lives available to ourselves
and to others.
We have to trust that our stories deserve to be told. We may discover that the
better we tell our stories the better we will want to live them.
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 - Simon Dewey.JPG)
