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Dear Michael,
I'm sad for the family of Jim Hill and it was good of you to reach out to them.
Our priests have always spoken the Mass intentions and my own spiritual advisor has told me that he has specifically said Mass for my intentions, and of course he does this for the multitude of folks he counsels and encounters as a priest and monk.
We have always been asked for a sum of money that I have always considered a small donation to the church, never as "payment" for a Mass, b/c that is impossible.
I think you'd be best to write a letter of concern to your Bishop, but it seems like it is the individual decision of the priest. However, as I said, every Mass I've ever been to in my 55 years I recall an intention being made. It does seem to comfort those who wish to pray for their loved ones. And I do believe the Mass is the prayer to which none others compare.
Forget about the $50 and write it off as a donation. Send Mass intentions to other Churches or ask specifically for the assistant pastor to say the Mass. Or perhaps the new pastor has rethought his rather rigid position.
What would I do? I'd probably send a donation in honor of my parents/loved ones/etc to their churches -- i.e., to the church where my mother was baptized and married. Or donation for Easter flowers, or whatever. And then on the anniversary of their deaths, births, whatever, I'd make a point of going to Mass that day to honor/pray/specially remember them.
Peace to you and a blessed New Year.
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