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Hi Liz,
I was hoping you would respond and kept checking the Merton Board
periodically. The image of the kids hugging their dad upon his return
vs. the kids asking "what did you get me?" is clear and striking. I
am going to think about that while I swim laps back and forth tonight.
I put some additional comments below by insertion.
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LIZ: we have is a relationship with God more personal than with any
human being: God in us and we in God. That's it, the whole of it.
Attempting to make of God the great magician in the sky who saves us
from the ills of life never works spiritually; we'll almost always be
disappointed because, frankly, answered prayer is a crap-shoot.
MIKE: This paragraph is very wise. If I adopted this paragraph as my
personal theology, it would remove much of the stress and angst from
my relationship with God. The problem is that we are constantly
called by the Church and by our neighbors to pray for concrete
tangible things. For example, in church we pray that all people
traveling over Christmas and New Year's return to their destinations
safely -- something tangible. My neighbor up the street has a
daughter (age 40) who had a new shunt inserted to drain fluid from her
brain, because the old shunt inserted as an infant was no longer
functioning. My neighbor saw me outside and asked me to pray for her
daughter -- something concrete: no brain collapse, no infection
during surgery, full recovery. So far so good.
What if a church family member was killed in the holiday traffic, or
my neighbor's daughter suffers a lapse? Then we would feel let down
and try to rescue the disappointment with prayer by saying "If it is
God's will this should happen, then so be it."
How do you respond to people when they ask you to pray for tangible
things? NOTE: I normally only pray for the repose of my parents'
souls. But last spring, I "stuck my neck out" to see if I could trust
God with something a bit more tangible like justice in this bank case,
and now I've had my head chopped off. I can see why people who were
raised to believe in an "all powerful God" who grants wishes would
become agnostic over a long enough period of disappointments.
LIZ: I long ago formulated this example: Think of the father who
returns from a trip and who's greeted by his children delighted to see
him and who want to hug him and love him simply because he's their
dad. They truly have a relationship. Compare these kids to those who
immediately greet their father with the question, "What did you bring
me?" and proceed to search his pockets for gifts. Who has the
relationship and who is the user?
MIKE: Excellent example and very appropriate theology hidden in the
imagery. However, how do you feel about a father who comes home from
a trip, his kids are all happy to see him and hug him, and he responds
with indifference to them by picking up the mail and going through it
without paying the kids any attention?
There is a lady (age 87) in our prayer group who says when she dies,
the first thing she wants to do is go up to Jesus and give him a big
hug. I don't understand how people feel such intimacy and affection
for their God. The first thing I want to do is see my parents again.
They are real to me.
LIZ: At this point, many people ask, "Well, then what good is He
(God)?" as though a relationship has no value without a pay-off. In a
long marriage (or partnership), however, we learn more and more that
it's only the relationship itself that has true value and that
expectation of favors grows less and less important with time. When
one spouse/partner dies, it's the relationship that's dearly missed.
MIKE: Excellent. Well stated. I can't think of anything to add to
what you have said.
LIZ: taught me the meaning of a loving relationship with God: To
exist with/in, Love, is not merely enough, it's the All of existence.
I've found true joy in this awareness.
MIKE: I sense you are one of those people who have a loving
relationship with God, perhaps even stronger than the love you have
for your spouse or parents. If so, that is great. But I wonder how
you came to feel love for something that is pure mystery. Can you
feel that same inner joy and love even when someone cheats you or
takes advantage of you? Are you able to forget and forgive the
injustices without tossing and turning and losing sleep at night?
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