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Thanks for your message, Wayne. What would be a "little light" in
these circumstances? A new interesting consulting project that
offsets the losses from this case? Discovering a new book that I
enjoy reading?
I am willing to bet if I write 3 months from now, there will be no new
interesting project. As to finding a new book that I enjoy reading,
that is something that would likely happen simply from browsing the
Internet, even if I did not pray again.
Many people turn away from prayer, not merely because their prayers
are never answered, but because they receive no consolation, no little
light, nothing in return. Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised. But
having fallen flat on my face with prayer, I have zero expectations
for anything good ("all good things come from God") to come from these
circumstances at least on earth.
I probably sound like a cynic. When we pray with the innocence of a
child and find our hopes and prayers are dashed, it leads to a loss of
innocence. To some it might sound like a cynical attitude, but it is
really the hurt that comes from that loss of trust/innocence/hope.
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