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Dear Mike,
I'm not sure that I have adequate words to say this; however, I think you're speaking of the difference between relationship and expectation. I believe that as we mature in faith we learn that what we have is a relationship with God more personal than with any human being: God in us and we in God. That's it, the whole of it. Attempting to make of God the great magician in the sky who saves us from the ills of life never works spiritually; we'll almost always be disappointed because, frankly, answered prayer is a crap-shoot.
I long ago formulated this example: Think of the father who returns from a trip and who's greeted by his children delighted to see him and who want to hug him and love him simply because he's their dad. They truly have a relationship. Compare these kids to those who immediately greet their father with the question, "What did you bring me?" and proceed to search his pockets for gifts. Who has the relationship and who is the user?
At this point, many people ask, "Well, then what good is He (God)?" as though a relationship has no value without a pay-off. In a long marriage (or partnership), however, we learn more and more that it's only the relationship itself that has true value and that expectation of favors grows less and less important with time. When one spouse/partner dies, it's the relationship that's dearly missed.
Mike, I learned this through painful experience. I've had two episodes of clinical depression and, after becoming Christian, could not understand how this could happen to me. Why did God allow it? A very wise spiritual director finally got through my disappointment and ire and taught me the meaning of a loving relationship with God: To exist with/in, Love, is not merely enough, it's the All of existence. I've found true joy in this awareness.
Shalom, Salaam, and peace,
Liz
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